Introverts are Liars(?) --> BE SCARED & GO THERE ANYWAY

I don't believe that all introverts are liars.  I don't even think that ALL extroverts actually believe that introverts are liars.  But as I scrolled through today's #HFChat (Twitter's Hire Friday chat), extrovert bias surfaced like tiny whitecaps on Lake Winnipeg.

Now before I go any further, last week I referenced #HFChat and a twitter contributor in my blog, but this week I was reminded that I also need to reference the #HFChat Team -- Margo Rose, Tom Bolt, Jenn Pedde and Donna Svei.  Said one tweeter, 

"Speaking of blogging Pls feel free to blog from todays chat Pls credit the tweeter(s) chat & the #HFChat team. #HFChat"

So without furture adieu,

3 Cheers to the tweeters: they're fantastic! -- all of them -- for showing up and for contributing. 

(I wasn't availble to participate during the scheduled chat and I'm writing as I'm accessing the material for the first time.) 

3 Cheers also to the team of Rose, Bolt, Pedde and Svei for the excellent moderating and coordinating they do to get this chat moving every week!!

And finally, I want to commend everybody on the relevant and lively chat today.  There were many threads of interest, the one that sparked an immediate chord with me was the conversation about Authenticity, Honesty and Integrity and their relationship to professionalism.  Tweeters commented on the discrepancy between online personalities and face-to-face, or "real" personalities.  I thought it was a curious assumption that people are somehow more honest and real in person than they are in writing .  I was also struck by the immense trump card that face-to-face, speaking skills is over solid writing skills (as I am time and time over on this one ... it's a biggie, folks!).

Comments such as, "Show your personality while building your brand or when you connect via telephone, in person it is REAL," explemplify this point perfectly.

Except for a brief stint working at a bookstore, I've always been paid to write so maybe I'm taking the written word too seriously (I've been accused of worse).  Here's the thing, I think the written word is every bit as real and authentic as the face-to face word. 

And more than people even realise, the personality that we put out there in the real world is a construct, every bit as much as the written word.

You need an approachable, likeable go-getter?  The candidate sent you an exciting package electronically, complete with a fantastic email.  You're looking forward to the meeting but when the candidate and you meet, you're mystified (and a little ticked off).  They're a low talker(think Seinfeld) and they don't look you in the eye when they talk to you ... doesn't that mean they have something to hide?!!  They don't even use the same language when they speak as they did in their writing.  You feel like you've been had and you want this imposter out of your office!

Dramatic?  Perhaps.  But it's happened to me more than once this this year. 

Am I faking my proposals/job applications?

Most certainly not.

To be honest, if I've faked anything I've bluffed my level of comfort and pretended to be a person of somewhat lesser gravitas than I actually am.  When I see that interviews aren't going well, or that people aren't comfortable, I'll try to come off as more easy-breezy; i.e. less "real" and less like I authentically am ... but that's often a recipe for disaster, and by the time I've become self-conscious, it really is the kiss of death.  I might as well write the thank you notes then and there.

One of my favourite comments from the #HRChat was a piece of advice that every introvert needs to apply to their day-to-day social business if they want their face-to-face interactions to come off as well as their written ones,

"Text IS easier...F2F can be scary. So be scared and go there anyway."

As I've said in previous posts, not all introverts are shy or even scared of social situations where they're in the hot seat as presenter or in networking with lots of people.  Introverts, no matter where they are on the spectrum, prefer and require time alone to recharge.  Being "on" and among many is an unnatural state for us so we need to acclimatize ourselves and build up to various levels of F2F demands.  This is why I thought the quote above was such an excellent nugget of advice for introverts:

BE SCARED AND GO THERE ANYWAY.

Speak and connect with confidence knowing that when it's over, you'll be able to recharge in your own company for however long you like.

~k.